Updated: Nov 5, 2019
There is a stillness which arrests you down to your toes, unwilling to show its true self; yet intensely present.
There is a stillness in progress.
I find myself in such stillness as I tire myself towards the bull’s eye of my goals. I feel my progress, I see my successes. And yet, I am captured in stillness.
Though I cannot see through the fog, I know I am moving. It is an uneasy feeling. It bothers. I feel bound, yet I am moving. Or maybe what I feel is being grounded. Maybe I am taking root. I conclude to myself that I am not alone in such state. There must be others.
There always is.
It feels like you feel one way but see another. Gemini.
The fraternal facts you begin to see only adds to the now anxious mind. Am I moving forward or am I regressing? You will give almost anything to unfeel this. But the answer is found in the journey, not the results. Don’t resist the stillness in your motioned journey. See it, greet it, dine with it.
We know this kind of stillness. It feels familiar but cloaked differently. It is not here to guilt us. It is not here to arrest us. It is here to encourage us. It is here to give us a break from the driver’s seat. It is here to tell us to stay the course – like a ship heading for shore. Everything is in order, we just have to stay our course – not steering left or right, just keep straight.
Staying course is a feeling worth celebrating. Indeed, you should take time to admire your past decisions which got you this far. Pop a bottle. Sit and sip wine or whatever you fancy. Legs raised; shoulders rested on relief. Smile at yourself. Thank yourself.
As relief takes over, recall parts of your journey. Recall the times you customized your ambitions every single day. Remember the places you took water breaks; the droplets of water which took days to quench your thirst, months and years to fill your bottle for the continued journey. Reminisce on the food breaks you had with like-minded people. Those who had very different paths from yours, yet you all met at the same time at the food station to replenish; then going your different ways again. And most importantly, applaud yourself for the rest break you took. The one your body and mind, for once, agreed you needed to take. Remember how refreshing it was, though it may have taken more time than you wanted. These three were the backbone of our journey. They added flesh to your plans. They prepared you for the “stillness” you find yourself in. The glide I should say.
You are doing okay. Tell yourself that. Take it in some more. Readjust your legs for comfort. Sip some more.
I urge myself by urging you keep planning, saving, acting on your dreams. It may seem like you are not moving but open your eyes and feel the stillness gliding you to your finish line.
Not every ending needs a (big) bang. Not every part of your journey needs running shoes and sweat. Some parts feel as though you are stagnant. When you feel like this, know you are gliding forward. You are not still and arrested. This is a glide to your next phase.
Recognise it. Appreciate it. Repeat.