Seeing The Calm
There is a fear that comes with the calm. They are not synonymous, but we make them so. Fear that the calm will soon end, and we may be unprepared for the storms ahead. Fear the calm will be disrupted by something or someone we thought was taken care of, dealt with, at peace with. Fear that we are not ready to undertake the inevitable challenges. And fear we may never recover when the calm collides with life’s iceberg.
I worry too. Now I worry less.
For some, fear comes as a teacher. For others, fear shrouds as a lesson needed to be learned (more than once). And for many, fear may be a motivator – although during that time, it feels like a tormentor. I have had many of those moments when fear was trying to get me up and going, but all my mind saw was the face of a tormentor. I did one of two things: I ran or I rebelled by fighting against it. Which path I took, aside from living through the fear, I lost time, I got tired, I lost more time. Time I can never get back.
Time is like the wind, it comes slow and steady to the untrained mind, but to the attentive and alert hearts, it is as fast as a blink or lightening. Zap! And it’s over. Blink and it’s lost. The sad part is, we then spend even more time wishing we did not waste time before. Thus, again, losing more time. Had I know is always at last but we don't have to make it last.
I am sure you find yourself in some definition of calm now. Your life may be balanced and serene. Your child may have settled in her or his personality, and that brings you calmness as you now know how to relate to her or him. School and its high demands may have found a rhythm and your calmness comes by knowing which drums to beat to stay above the stress. Or maybe your love life is seeing the sun come up, and like the first ray of sunrise, you feel inspired, relaxed and assured. It could be your job is showing you a path to your career and for the first time in a while, you feel a sense of pride and clarity. Give those calm feelings and thoughts more breath to grow.
Our calms do not come to rush us through the chapter we are in. They come to prepare us for what is ahead – both positive and challenging surprises. It comes to whisper advice and strategies of how to keep this peaceful calm we feel now, and how to maintain it when the troubles come.
We each have great times and unpleasant moments ahead. Notice I used “times” for positive and “moments” for challenges. That is because a moment does not last long, and if we are to go through our challenges thinking it will last forever, we have already surrendered our swords to the difficulties. We have already further negated the hardships and given it more power than it deserves.
Train your mind to see challenges are moments. They may last long, sure, they may be cyclical, but they are but a moment because you name it so, because that is all the permission and power you give it. A moment. We do not want to prevent them from happening because they do come with lessons and growth. But we want to give them as little power and duration as possible. Treat them with reverence but let them know they are here for moment.
Your calm is here for a lifetime. Your challenges are here for a moment.
Talk to your calm. Wake it up if it’s in slumber. Polish it off and wear it like you wear your skin. Treat it with love and intention. Purposefully attain calmness in everything. It is here to comfort you, teach you, prepare you and love on you. Don’t rush it by worrying it will end. It won’t. It will seem like it ended, but I promise you it is there – waiting for you to call on it again.
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